John Carter - All He Has To Do Is Jump!
(2012) ★☆☆☆☆ ‘John Carter’ tells how John Carter of Earth becomes John Carter of Mars. Who’s this guy? He’s sort of a Captain during the American Civil War. Since he’s tired of fighting for anyone, he’d rather turn himself into a fortune hunter. He discovers gold in a cave where he surprisingly comes across a magical medallion that sends him straight to Mars in a blink, where he gets himself involved in another Civil War. How convenient and boring! The story is very much of a cliché. The characters are dull and unattractive. The setting is absolutely ridiculous. In the film, Earth and Mars are basically no different. They share the same atmosphere since John Carter has no trouble breathing on Mars. The gravity on Mars is lower than that on Earth, and John Carter’s ability to do giant leaps (his lethal weapon as well) proves it, but it doesn’t seem to affect how bullets fly there. Right, the Martians have guns. No idea why they still use such stupid weapons. Also, Mars se...